Picture perfect photos. Coordinated outfits. Great locations. Fancy plates of food. Selfies for everything-with everyone. How do posts on popular social media make you feel? Does it make you feel small or less in some way? Let’s say your post did not get much attention. Zero “likes”. Does that bother you? How does one make one’s life “social media proof”? How to maintain one's peace of mind? Here is my take.
A whole lot of noise
In today’s world, social media is everywhere. On one hand, social media plays a very important in connecting people across the world. It helps build online communities that provide a platform for sharing ideas. On the other hand, there is perhaps way too much out there and it is a whole lot of noise. The ease of access with little monitoring and practically no barrier, anyone can put almost anything out there. Every once in a while, I come across posts that, in my opinion, are completely meaningless, offensive even. A few posts even make you feel miserable. It set me thinking – what is it that I can do deal with social media in a way that allows me stay tuned into what is happening around me but at a same time keep my distance?
Three-point takeaway
Define your objective
There are innumerable social media platforms, each with its own definition of its purpose. The challenge then is to figure out – what works for me? Which platform matches my goal? Why do I need to be here? If your objective for a specific platform is networking, then keep it that way. Keep it professional. In some others, you may have a thousand connects, but are they acquaintances or friends? Define what real friendship means to you. Does that relationship, as defined by you, really need social media? Once you have clarity around what your goal is, then the noise would not bother you.
Draw your boundaries…not theirs
Once you have defined your objective, put down some boundaries – both ways – to view social media and post on them. Boundaries could be defined in many ways of time spent, content, number of posts and frequency. If you repeatedly find posts from a specific person offensive, shut them out. If you get uncomfortable with a platform for any reason, simply move out. Switch off. Extreme political commentary, way too many posts, gut wrenching pictures/videos are some of the stuff that put me off. I just shut them out. Don’t want to repeatedly deal with these.
Understand that you are not here to tell others what is ok and what is not. Everyone is free to make their choices. There is an exception to this though. In the corporate world, most companies do have guidelines that outline their policies clearly. As long as one is part of any organization, one needs to toe the line.
Don’t compare someone’s outside with your inside
This is by far the most important take-away here.
Remember, people put stuff out on social media they WANT to share. That is the stuff they want you to see. It is their “outside”. What you feel about yourself and your life is just the opposite – your “inside”. Then the inadvertent comparison is totally unfair. It would be fair to say that you may not have any idea of what their “inside” looks like. Little about what is really going on. Just hope their lives are as good as it looks on social media. Wish everyone well. Celebrate their wins but guard your feelings. Fiercely.
Social media happened so we can forge new relationships, make new friends and connect with more folks. The reality, however, is we have “connections” with who we don’t really connect, “followers” who we know nothing about and “friends” who exist only within digital media. The meaning of friends, relationships and connections have been redefined. People “meet up” more on social media than face to face in real life. But I guess this IS today’s reality.
Don’t get me wrong. Not everything about social media is bad. It can be an extremely powerful medium. You could reach out to a much larger audience than ever before and instantly. You can find a job, hire an employee, share your ideas, sell your products, advertise your services, create a community and even make new forever friends.
The key to maintain your sanity is not to allow social media to dictate how you respond. YOU and only you get to decide how you feel about any of this. Remember, what’s inside is far more important than what’s on the outside.